Alright, so I won’t be winning any bloggie awards for consistency!  *grin*

Although I enjoy blogging and writing … although I enjoy the opportunity to be heard by other single moms and to hopefully make the slightest difference in someone’s life or outlook, I just don’t have a lot of time to do it properly.  I often find myself thinking, “That’s gonna blog well!”  But sadly, by the time I get near the computer, I’ve got work to do for my biz, for church, for school, for the kids, for Mom, I need to pay bills, answer e-mail, and alas, my poor little blog is neglected!

As some of you may remember, I went back to college this summer.  It hasn’t been easy.  You see when I attempted college after my divorce, it ended badly.  That was the beginning of my battle with depression and I eventually quit school – only short of failing out.  The college [its employees] has a memory like an elephant and policy did not allow for any forgiveness.  I’ve spent so much time writing appeal letters, attending board meetings, filing for emergency scholarships, filling out applications, etc. that I could puke as to write one more thing!

However, the outcome has been fantastic.  I’ve taken two classes over the summer semester and anticipate finishing with a 4.0 - how awesome is that?  Financial Aid was forced to eat crow and help me, despite their obvious lack of interest in my success.  At the outset, I found that I have already attained one degree in Applied Technical Studies.  Upon completion, approximately 2 years from now, I will have obtained two additional AS degrees in Computer Science.  [Web Development & Programming]  I have an awesome advisor who is not only a knowledgeable programmer, but a fantastic and inspiring person.  My instructors are intelligent and super people and I look forward to picking their brains and getting to know them more!  I’m learning and growing [mentally, emotionally, spiritually] with each and every chapter!  This has become not only a learning experience in design and programming, it has been an opportunity for God to show me areas where I require improvement.  [He has also been gracious and wonderful in reminding me how far I’ve come!]

You see, it is so easy to give in to the discouragement, the callous, thoughtless remarks, the belittlement and disinterest!  It is extremely easy to believe others that claim you aren’t capable of something [of anything].  It is a tool the enemy uses.  His main goal is to convince us that we are defeated – that we live in defeated circumstances.  He doesn’t want us to hear or believe the Good News that God offers.  Rather, he would like us to believe that this world and its problems are bigger than God.  They most certainly are NOT!

“No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn.  This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, And their vindication is from Me,” declares the LORD.  [Isaiah 54:17]

It has been a long and hard summer so far.  I’m not comfortable challenging people of any stature, much less, boards, administrations or their decisions!  This is totally out of my comfort zone!  But I did it.  Perhaps I just had a lesson to learn.  Perhaps God is preparing me for a larger and more important confrontation!  Nonetheless, He’s preparing me and molding me into a better, stronger person.  I’d like to think that I’ve passed this particular test!  I dug my heels in and would not take “No” for an answer.  I knew that this was important to my family’s future and I knew that I could do it.  Even now, I have friends that do not support this decision.  That’s alright.  I have other, very close, friends and family that support me 200%.  Most importantly, I have God on my side – and that is seriously all that matters!  -Ever!

Sometimes, especially as a single mom, you feel very alone.  We all have our ‘moments’.  You feel like it is truly you against the world!  But I am here to tell you, after many trials, that you are NOT alone.  God is in your corner cheering you on, rooting for you, and picking up all the shattered pieces – EVERY SINGLE TIME!

7 In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.  8 Trust in him at all times; you people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.  [Psalm 62:7 & 8]

This was my post for MUIB, a Business Mom group I belong to.  The lesson I learned this week was so valuable, that I decided to share it here, with you!

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Okay, so I didn’t post my goals for the week on Monday … I’ll learn to do that … for now, I write them all down in a notebook that I carry everywhere!  In the meantime, I’ve accomplished so much and met so many deadlines and expectations, I’m SO exhausted, yet very elated … I just had to share and brag a little!  Maybe even spread a little inspiration?  *wink*

First and foremost, let me just remind those of you who don’t remember or weren’t around for my intro … I’m a single, 37-year old Mama … I have a demanding pre-schooler and a self-absorbed teen (+ his girlfriend) … I stay with my friend’s ‘special needs’ daughter 4 days a week (outside of my home) … I’ve gone back to college FT (online / at night) … I’ve been attempting to run 2 businesses from my home (1 product & 1 service) and 1 ministry for single moms … I’m essentially the ‘right-arm’ to the Pastor’s wife … I’m also a daughter, sister, niece, cousin, friend … you get the idea!

Anyway …

* In the course of the week, I designed and edited a business card for our Pastor.  Delegated the printing and cutting to Staples Print Center.  (Dropped off and picked up.)  Managed to order, receive and press matching business card holder - - all in time for Father’s Day!  -Invoiced.

* Through much frustration and aggravation, with faulty equipment (X 2) and having to ship supplies from Alabama AT THE LAST MINUTE via FedEx Express … I pressed 58 t-shirts and delivered them to the SAL (last night) in time for their golf tournament this morning!!!  (Also managed to reorder / replace discontinued tie-dyed t-shirts - received and delivered on time!)  -Invoiced.

* Pressed and hand-delivered paper weight for Father’s Day order before said ‘father’ left for Myrtle Beach on Friday.  -Invoiced.

* Petitioned college Foundation for emergency assistance with school books (on Wednesday) for classes that started on Monday!  Was awarded “Scholarship” and picked up books (on Thursday)!  (Have even started studying and took first quiz - 95%!)

* Collected numerous pieces of information (from 2006) for Financial Aid office!  (Putting together for Monday’s mail as we speak!)

* Dealt with sick child - twice!!!  (Isn’t there a clause in the Mama handbook that says they can only get sick once per week?!?!?!)

* Scheduled same child’s appointment for minor, oral surgery.

* Successfully robbed Peter and paid Paul.  (Also known as the gas and cable / internet.)

* Celebrated MY Mom’s 60th birthday!  (Go MOM!!!)

* Housework / Chores?  Although I did not even touch my house, (unless you count cleaning up puke) I am on ‘vacation’ from babysitting next week – I will catch up then.  It’s not going anywhere – trust me!  (I’ve tried waiting it out!)  I did do laundry (which mind you I have to drag to a laundrymat) and buy groceries.  (I’ve volunteered to bake apple pies for Father’s Day dinner at church!  What was I thinking?)

SIDENOTE:  Never got around to cutting grass.  (Lawnmower sounds like chainsaw on steroids – must delegate repair!)  *cheesy grin*

So seriously, I’m not trying to brag!  I AM trying to remind myself how remarkable I can be when I put my mind to it!  In the past week (or two) I have learned one very, very, extremely important lesson!  (And you can trust that I plan to blog about it!)

KEEP YOUR JOY!

“Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.”&nbps;  [James 1:2]

I cannot even tell you how many times I wanted (was tempted) to cry, scream, cuss, punch something or someone, or worse yet – give up, this week!  But I maintained!  I just kept telling myself that my joy was all I had left!  Was I really going to let the world around me rob me (and my family) of that too?

I know it’s hard to get through the day, week, month, or longer sometimes!  I know that just when you think you can’t take ‘one more thing‘ what happens?  ONE MORE THING!  I too get into situations where I can feel my insides curdle and reel at the thought of one more confrontation (phone calls, e-mails, letters, essays, applications, forms)!  I know the feeling when your blood feels like marbles because all you can think about is everything that needs done and how little time you have to do it!

Concentrate on the things that have gone your way.  Concentrate on God’s blessings and goodness!  Concentrate on your dreams and making them come true!  Concentrate on your family!  (The one you are doing it all for!)  Remind yourself how awesome and competent you are!!!  You CAN and WILL do this!  (Whatever this may be!)  We’re MOMS – we’re capable!  *grin*

Here I am now … the end of another hectic, crazy, hair-pulling, teeth-grinding, fist-clenching week.  One that I thought I could not get through!  One that I almost let get the best of me!  But I did and it didn’t!  I kept my joy despite myself!  It’s Saturday, the ‘to-do’ list is all checked off.  My baby is making me play-dough cookies!!!  I have a full pitcher of iced tea and a few more Reese’s Cups in the bag!  It’s all good my sisters!

ALL GOOD!

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AND … now … I’ve blogged as well!  *wink*

Who reflects God’s love [most of all]?

Obviously, it’s not some competition to be the ‘fairest’ or the most ‘reflective’!  However, once you overcome your guilt and lack of self-confidence, and believe that God so loved the world and you - do you ‘reflect’ it?

As all of us reflect the glory of the Lord with unveiled faces, we are becoming more like him with ever-increasing glory by the Lord’s Spirit.  [II Corinthians 3:18]

Let arrogant people be put to shame because they lied about me, [yet] I reflect on your guiding principles.  [Psalm 119:78]

Do you reflect His love and life in your actions and behavior?  Or do you simply absorb the love and life around you?  When God’s favor is poured into your life, do you simply ‘keep’ it?  Or do you pay it forward?

My ‘little man’ and I were in Wal-Mart (again) on Sunday afternoon.  As we were checking out, another cashier came to stand at our register.  Up to this point, ‘my’ cashier hadn’t been able to reciprocate any conversation that I initiated.  However, when her co-worker arrived, they began to ‘talk’.  [Deliberate, gripe and complain about working policies and conditions.]

I won’t even get into all the reasons why this doesn’t fly from my [the customer] point of view.

In the meantime, however, it got me to thinking about some things.  Things that many of us may not even consider!

For instance, how often do we carry on conversations with our own ‘inner circle’ of friends and family, with no regard as to how awful what we may be saying sounds to bystanders?

Or what impression we are making by the comments and opinions we voice?

Or, how often do we completely shut out others, missing an opportunity to witness, and exclude them because we are so engrossed in our own affairs, trials or annoyance?

How hard would it be to keep your opinions to yourself?  Or at the very least for a more appropriate time?

How hard would it be to turn and share a smile or a “Hello!”?

I can’t tell you the conversations that have started from a simple smile - the people that are just aching for someone to talk to or share a laugh with.  They’re everywhere!  And who better to approach them than the gal that trots off to church every Sunday and Wednesday proclaiming God’s love in her life?  [Same goes for the guys! *wink*]

We’re all pretty simple!  We just want to feel acceptance, approval, love and friendship in a world that offers very little of it!

It’s definitely NOT the time to submit to the ways of the world!  Rather, brilliant reflections of God’s love, mercy, favor and grace!

But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].  For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror; For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like.  But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).  If anyone thinks of himself to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person’s religious service is worthless (futile, barren).  External religious worship [religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this; to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.  [James 1:22-27]