So Which Is It?
On Monday, the kids and I went to see an older gentleman from church. He’s in the hospital after suffering from a coupla ‘mini-strokes’. He’s a really good man. (Who could use your prayers for continued healing!)
It amazes me how awesome he is with both of my boys! He’s like some sort of kid-chameleon! He can talk cars and 4-wheelers with my oldest, and turn right around and play ‘Tag’ or ‘Hide-n-Seek’ with my youngest!
My oldest had insisted we go to see the gentleman and I gave my youngest the choice. I told him that his friend from church was sick and needed cheering up - did he want to go with us or would he prefer to stay home with his grandma - he insisted on going as well!
When we got there, he looked terribly worn out. He told me that even though they were saying he was getting better – he didn’t feel much better. This worried me. (I’ve not been around many stroke victims and didn’t have a clue what the ‘norm’ was.)
The following day I was trying to get some information and find out how he was doing. Trying to find out why he’d been so tired. I was abruptly told that it was probably because he’d had SO much company that day!
Whoa! What a shot. I totally took it personally and immediately felt guilty…so I began to explain myself!
In the first place, he looked rough when we got there. Besides his daughter and ex-wife, we were the first of his company that day. In the second place, I felt that it was important that he know he was loved and missed by my kids, that they cared enough to come see him, even if for just a moment – which it was!
I’m not stupid; I realize that he needs his rest. I realize that his recovery is most important. But I realize some other things too. I realize that God is in control of this situation. I realize that many, many prayers are being sent up for this man and that God hears them. I also realize how important it is to the human spirit to be nurtured and to fellowship with other believers and people who care!
But man! I felt like crap! Seriously! I kept trying to put myself in the other person’s shoes. Would I be mad if all those people came to see one of my kids, my mom or me? Or would I be touched because these people care enough to drive 45 minutes just to spend 5 showing their honest-to-goodness Christian love?
How awful would it be if NO ONE visited?
I still felt SO bad. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it for fear of being an instigator or tattle-tale. (I really didn’t want to cause any trouble or hard feelings for anyone else.) So I sat here wallowing in this, praying, begging God to release me from this guilty feeling that somehow my kids and I have impeded this man’s recovery.
This is what He’s led me to realize…the kids and I went there out of Godly love and concern. Did it overwhelm him a bit? Perhaps. Will it keep him from getting better? No - God is at work in his healing! Did he realize that his brothers and sisters of all ages love him and care about him? Let’s hope!
This horrible feeling I had in the pit of my stomach is none other than the enemy! My first instinct was to quit trying to reach out to others. To say, “Why bother?” or, “It’s neither here nor there if I visit – no one cares anyway!” and just stay home and mind my own business!
But that’s NOT God’s way!
For some reason, I still battle with acceptance. Like it isn’t enough that God loves me unconditionally! I still ache for good friends, for a companion, for a loving, receiving church, for a big family around an outrageous dinner table… 
But we’re just people. We try very hard to love each other as God does – but it’s hard! And there are just some times when you can’t please everyone – or anyone! It really doesn’t matter if people accept you. Imagine for a moment how horribly alone Jesus must have felt as He made His way to the cross!
What really matters is this…as long as we have a strong relationship with the Father, we always ‘belong’ somewhere!
Believe it or not, I’m not looking for sympathy or any codling. Seriously! Today I’m trying to make a point. I learned something and I want to share it with you. I was headed for a major pity party! I was desperate for ‘someone to talk to’. But, I kept thinking, “God will listen – give Him the chance!” So I kept praying and praying and talking and talking to Him about this.
The same idea kept coming back to me, “God wants you to fellowship with others, be there for others - regardless of the reception you receive! It’s not about you, Christina – it’s about HIM!”
Maybe you are being challenged for doing something kind, thoughtful or considerate - it’s just the enemy! I mean, if you can take a minute, step back and see the big picture, the enemy does not want fellowship amongst God’s people! He wants us to feel alone. He wants us to wrap ourselves up in a cocoon of self-pity and withdraw from our church family, our friends, our family! That is when we’re prime for the taking. He can wreak emotional and spiritual havoc on our lives when we’re feeling desperate, rejected and alone!
So enough with the guilt, the pity, and the ‘poor me’ – get out there and give someone a smile or a hug! Listen to someone that needs a sympathetic ear! Take lunch to that elderly lady with no family. Baby-sit so that young couple can have a ‘date night’. We all know someone that needs something – we just have to be willing to be that extension for God!
Will you meet some obstacles? More than likely. But you’ll have done all you can do! And that is all God expects!
By the way, for the sake of ‘the record’…the reason that our friend was so tired was because 1) the brain swells after a stroke and causes tiredness, 2) he had begun physical therapy that morning and was totally worn out.
~~~
6 Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.
7 Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;
9 as it is written, “HE SCATTERED ABROAD, HE GAVE TO THE POOR,
HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS ENDURES FOREVER.”
10 Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness;
11 you will be enriched in everything for all liberality, which through us is producing thanksgiving to God.
12 For the ministry of this service is not only fully supplying the needs of the saints, but is also overflowing through many thanksgivings to God.
13 Because of the proof given by this ministry, they will glorify God for your obedience to your confession of the gospel of Christ and for the liberality of your contribution to them and to all,
14 while they also, by prayer on your behalf, yearn for you because of the surpassing grace of God in you.
15 Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! [II Corinthians 9:6-15]
Amen, and Amen! You are so right, the enemy HATES when we fellowship with other believers, and sometimes it is so hard for me to see that. I don’t want the enemy to have a stronghold over my church, it is a good church, so I will pray on what the Lord would have me do. It is hard though, because there has already been so much rejection. But I know that sometimes I clam up and turn away when some people have actually tried to reach out to me, so I guess it has been two fold.
Thanks for sharing the story, and I will be praying for your friend. ((hugs))
Thank for sharing and for the words of encouragement. This is something that I struggle with and the Lord has revealed to me recently. At times I wish I could just pray a prayer and wake up the next day no longer feeling this way. But I’m learning that working through this is actually drawing me closer to God.
I always second guess why others reach out to me, but it always means alot to me when they do. In the same way when I reach out to others I always wonder if it is more of a headache to them than a blessing.
Praise God that you recognized the attack of the enemy. And just think what you are teaching your boys by your actions!
I will pray for your friend as well.
Heather & Ang,
I just have to thank you girls with all my heart! I needed this reaffirmation! (((hugs)))
As a family, we are still struggling with this particular issue. We received an e-mail yesterday informing us that our friend, ‘Allen’ would be in the hospital another 2 weeks.
The message went on to ‘kindly request’ that if we visit, we limit the number of visitors and time spent with him.
Initially, mom and I both pulled the ‘Fine…I just won’t go back!’ thing! We are so hurt by these constant implications that we may be impeding his recovery by visiting!
But that just isn’t God’s way! The enemy keeps trying to deter us from doing God’s work! I know deep down, this man needs fellowship. I am SURE, that he needs to know his church family misses him and cares about him! That is something that God counts on us to do! It’s our job as Christians to reach out to others!
I too have found myself growing closer to and relying more on God. I’m one of those girls that ‘needs to talk to someone’! I readily seek out someone (instead of Him) to listen to my woes and ease my ‘suffering’. But I have found myself going to God on this one. It takes more effort, because we’re not wired that way. We yearn for the confirmation of our peers! But God wants us to go to Him. He wants to listen and help us grow. We just have to give Him the chance!
In the meantime, it helps to strengthen my ideas and my determination when you girls rally here with me in agreement. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
One time, a bloggy friend mentioned how her church preached on fellowship with other believers. How we must yoke ourselves together and lift one another up and encourage each other. That is our biggest gift to one another!
And most certainly, thank you for your prayers. One thing he told mom he ‘needed’ was energy. So besides the obvious, healing and strength, please ask God to bless him with more energy! Thank you!
Definately praying for energy.
This whole subject just keeps stirring up in me, and I agree it is nice to have friends around who “get it” and who are also going through all of this. It’s kind of like…..well…..FELLOWSHIP! Which is just SO awesome!
(((Hugs)))
This is definitely a deep-seated subject for me too Heather! I think I am going to invest in Joyce Meyer’s ‘Approval Addiction’ and see what she has to say. I find that with these kinds of things, it is valuable to learn more about it and why you do it - then work towards overcoming it! I’ll let you girls know how it goes!